Worth It All

Wow. First post this year, and it is a stretch to even write anything. So many things going on to tell about, and I know there are people who wonder how we are doing, but I have had no desire to communicate with anyone about anything.

But, it is starting to feel like we are coming out of our post-adoption cocoon, or fog, or whatever works for you.

So many things have happened to us in the past 16 months - 6 new kids (only 3 new ones in the 18 months prior to that), new job in a new town that since the first of the year and for the next 18 months is nothing but study, an extra mortgage since original house in original town is still on the market...you get the picture.

So, where are we. Things are going very good. So much better than we anticipated with the last 4 who came home in Oct/Dec, but even "going good" with 4 new kids in the house, older kids, is just plain hard. So much to work through with each new child. They come broken - aren't we all - with their unique baggage and history and wounds and distrust, so x4 has really been all we could handle for a while.

And then there are all of the other things that get stirred up in the midst of the newness. Everyone else at home gets a little salt rubbed into their wounds in the process, so while some of it gets easier with experience and wisdom, there is just so much to deal with on every front.

Did we bite off more than we can chew? No, not more, but as much as we could chew for the past winter. There were many days where either of us would have said yes, too much, but God's grace is sufficient, and His mercy for us seemed to only have one of us at a time at wits end, so here we are, emerging. The very late and slow to emerge spring in Eastern Washington is just like our fog lifting, slow but sure. And a very welcome thing.

Through it all we made some pretty drastic changes in our lives. After the holidays we really felt like it was time to expand our schooling options, so at the beginning of the year we put 6 kids in public school, and with our oldest in running start at CBC there are now only 4 at home. What a huge change in every one's level of sanity.

We have 2 in middle school and 4 in elementary. Next year I think there will still be 4 or 5 at home, and one in HS, one in MS and some others in Elementary.

Rebekah is playing soccer on a club team, and she is loving every second of it. Terefu and Marta are both on the middle school track team and doing well in many events. The activity and time away from home burning some energy have been good for them all, and keep us running for practices and games.

Song has really done well here with his braille and mobility stuff, and he is doing amazingly well.

The rest of us are doing our stuff, mostly food preparation, and sorting out what being a family of 13 looks like, in this house atleast.

So to wrap it all up, the past 6 months has been a really stretching, growing time for us ALL. Watching these kids break off old junk and start the process of coming into who they are is amazing and faith building, and makes all of the tears and hurts worth it all. Just like Rita Springer says in her song Worth It All that has been playing endlessly at our house this winter.

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I needI will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all

I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this