The Post That Was Not

I was just finished with the below post, and it was saved to be posted Friday night, late, before our early departure for the airport the next morning.

Then we got a call from AAI, telling us that there was a problem with one of our kids. She had been removed from Layla that day. Needless to say, everything about our trip changed in that instant, and the post, as well as much of what we were going to do on the last night was forgotten.

Aching...

Bags packed - 2 at 50# each, 2 more at ~70#

Lists written and instruction given to Lisa's 2 sisters and wonderful aunt Sue who are here to take care of the 7 we are leaving at home.

Groceries bought for 10 while we are gone.

Bunk beds built and in the bedrooms where they are made and awaiting 4 new tired kids in 8 days.

Kids kissed, tucked in and prayed for by Mom and Dad who long to be away and are already aching to have to be away from them.

Endless thanks and praises to God for His goodness to us.

Weary but home

We are home now after a very emotionally tiring trip to Addis.

Here we are with our 4 at Layla House.

Lots to tell, but it will have to wait for energy and desire to catch up with me.

The Ragged Edge

Lisa and I leave the day after tomorrow, and things are getting to the crazy-hectic stage. There is of course the packing for us, which is daunting by itself. Lisa and I and stuff for the kids for a week and LOTS of letters, packages, books for the Layla library, Denise items...we will see how getting it all in goes!

Preparing for the addition of 4 more means not only beds for the new ones, but rearranging, getting rid of twins and doubles for bunks, lots more clothes, and the list goes on and on.

This is our truck after Marta and I made the last Costco run, with 5 new twin mattresses for new bunkbeds.

The bunkbeds I finished building last night to be stained today, moved into the boy's room tomorrow and ready for our return in a week.

We have family from both sides in and out, and to be honest our sanity is on the ragged edge right now, so the thought of a long quiet plane ride sounds so appealing right now. Just have to make it through tomorrow...

Together

Four weeks from today Lisa and I leave for Addis to meet (Lisa), be reunited with (Rich) and bring home these wonderful kids. They are Freweyni and Terefu in the back, and Ashenafi and Alemayehu in the front.

Five weeks from today we will be home with all 11 of our kids, together, and then the stretching and growing begins.

We are all so excited that we are beginning to drive each other nuts, which is just what most people think of us these days.

It is funny when people are looking at their pictures at our house, and we are talking about them. There will be this pause, followed by a these ones are "it", right? And we just smile and say only God knows...

Gift Bags

The smiles, and the words from their shirts and photo album say it all - Chosen, Jesus loves the little children, and Forever Family.

We are so blessed to have such favor with God.

Dear Dad

Yesterday we came home to a package of letters and disposable cameras from Terefu and Ashenafi's gift bags. Thank you Mary!

We got a letter from Tsion (who still needs a family - hint, hint), one from Freweyni, a letter for each of us from Terefu, and letters for Lisa and I from Ashenafi.

What a great way to end any day - reading I love you's from your kids who are just as anxious to be with you as you are to be with them.

Psa 68:4
Sing to God, sing praises to His name;
Extol Him who rides on the clouds,
By His name YAH,
And rejoice before Him.
Psa 68:5
A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
Psa 68:6
God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;
But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

Terefu and Haile

We just found this picture of Terefu with Haile Gebrselassie yesterday. It was taken by a family traveling to bring home their son, and it looks like some of the older children got to go to a track meet where they were able to meet him.

According to Wikipedia "he is considered by many to be one of the best distance runners of all time, having broken 24 world records and won numerous Olympic and World Championship titles."

And now he can add to his list meeting my daughter, which tops all of his accomplishments if you ask me.

She's Back!

Denise Baker is headed back to Ethiopia, and will be blogging once again on Destination Ethiopia. She will be working for Adoption Link and hopes to spend some time at Layla House as well.

If you aren't aware, Denise was a volunteer at Layla last year for 7 months while Marta was there, and has become a friend of ours through our travels there and at home since she came back. She is an amazing person, and such a good writer.

Go and check out what she has going on - you will be sucked into life in Addis in no time.

We love you Deniseye! See you soon!

Change

Now that we are through court I can talk about some other changes our family has recently been through.

From the summer of 2001 through the summer of 2002 we lived in Hermiston, Oregon while I was starting up a new power plant there. I worked for Calpine. We drove ~35 miles north to the Tri-Cities to go to church at the Tri-Cities Vineyard, and during that year we became very close to a number of families there. Since that time we have wanted to live there, but never felt like it was something that we were to pursue.

Since we moved to Goldendale in 2004 we were close enough to head up to the Tri-Cities and hang out with our friends at what is now the Three Rivers Bridge, and maintain our relationships with our friends, and establish new ones. We still wanted to be there, but the timing wasn’t right, and we still didn’t feel like it was something for us to pursue. We figured that if God wanted us there He would get us there.

In February the plant I was managing in Goldendale was sold by Calpine to Puget Sound Energy, and I was hired by PSE to stay on and manage it for them. It is a great plant in a town that we loved, but over the next couple months it became clear that PSE and I and our family’s desires were not a good fit for each other.

In a very short period of time we became very discontent with many aspects of our life in Goldendale, and looking back we believe this was God’s doing – a holy discontent. His preparation so we would be ready to step through the door He was opening for us.

In May we drove the 2 hours to The Bridge for church and afterwards to some friend’s house for lunch. They asked how my job was, I said I was frustrated, and he said “are you interested in a job?” Until that very moment in time I would have said no, but in that instant it was just right and the answer was yes.

Long story short is that I interviewed for the job, was offered a position, and we moved at the end of June. It was a perfect fit for our family in so many ways, and I think that this is because we didn’t try to make it happen, and God made it all fit together in His timing.

Our house is perfect for us, in a great neighborhood, close to my new job which is such a good fit for me, where we can attend our church again, and we are in the midst of a bunch of families with Ethiopian kids. God has blessed us in so many ways through this move, and we couldn’t be happier. Now we are just settling in and waiting for the rest of the family to show up.

Nothing catchy comes to mind...

..other than We Made it Through!!!

Our case to adopt Terefu, Freweyni, Alemayehu and Ashenafi successfully made it through court today in Addis Ababa, so we are way more than happy to announce that we are now the proud parents of 11!

It feels kind of surreal. I wasn't sure what would happen, and really thought that we might get bumped out of court for some reason (need more info, some signature not quite right, etc.) and then have to wait through the court closure until October to try again.

As it stands, Lisa and I will fly to Addis on about Sept. 29th, be at the embassy on Oct. 3rd, and fly home around Oct. 6th.

Also, earlier today in Addis, Freweyni and Alemayehu found out about all of this for the first time. Because we added them to our case at the last minute, and there was uncertainty about the court's result they haven't been told anything. God bless them and their emotions as they find this all out and begin to process it all.

Still Waiting

The word we got from AAI is that power is out in Addis around the courts so only 4 cases were heard yesterday before they called it a day. Same today, and we are not one of the 4 families. So we are still waiting, and praying. Two of the many defining characteristics of an adoptive family. We should hear more news later this week as to our status, but for now it is just wait and pray.

Court Date

I just heard from AAI that our court date is set for August 1st. It looks like we will beat the court closure this year, rather than sit waiting until October like we had to do last year. God willing that is the day we become a family of 13. Then we will enter the ranks of what I called medium sized families in this post last year.

I can hardly believe that. Just 3 years ago this month we came home from China with our 3rd child, Joy. She is one of our twins, 7 year olds - Joy and Mary. They were just born on different continents, Joy from China and Mary from Ethiopia.

Thanks in advance if you will pray for a favorable outcome.

Group S

After a month of being computerless, my new Dell laptop came today and I can reenter life...I can't beleive how much of life involves a computer and the internet. Anyway, that and many other changes in life that I will have to tell about later have kept me from keeping this page up to speed on what we are doing.

I am happy to say though that we are in Group S, which means we will be going to court soon, and I think we will be in the last AAI group to go to court before it closes for 2 months. We should be travelling in September, God willing.

Lisa and I will both be travelling this time, and we are so excited. We haven't been away without kids for 17 years now, so our 2 days to get there and pick up kids alone will be unique for us. I am really excited to have her see Layla and AHOPE and Addis and meet so many people I have grown to love. I would have gone alone again, but this will be so much better.

Before sending our paperwork into court, we had to make a last minute decision. As I said before our paperwork was done for up to 4 kids. We wanted to make sure that we would be prepared for any unknown siblings that Terefu and Ashenafi might have. A couple weeks ago we got confirmation that there were none.

Well, with the changes in family size requirements being imposed by the Ethiopian government we figured this may be our last opportunity to bring home kids from there, so we were discussing what to do about our approval for 4 kids. Long story short is that we have added a second sibling set of 2 kids to our case, and hope to be bringing home 4 kids this fall instead of just 2.

We will be bringing home Terefu (13), Ashenafi (5), and hope to also bring home Freweyni (12) and her little brother Alemayehu (9). I know Freweyni from my 2 trips, and know who Alemayehu is but don't really know him. I spent lots of time with Freweyni though.

We aren't sure if the courts will let us adopt them all, but AAI is confident enough to try. They have been so good to us, and have supported all of our many special requests. Thanks Merrily.

When we were uncertain, and praying for God to make things clear for us, this is the scripture that He gave Lisa.

Psa 68:5
A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
Psa 68:6
God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;
But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

Until that point we weren't sure what God wanted us to do. We hadn't heard anything. My only direction came from a certain theology I have. I believe that in the absence of hearing clearly what God has for you to do at a certain time, while you are waiting, that there are constants that we are to always be living. Loving our neighbors, caring for widows and for ORPHANS. Little things like that. That was good enough for me, and then at the last minute God gave Lisa that scripture, and just confirmed what we had been discussing.

So at this point it is up to Him. If they are all ours He will ensure we have favor in the courts and His will will be done. That is our prayer, and if you wish to join us in that we would covet your prayers.

Dad

This is what I see on the outside of one folded letter when I open the envelope from Terefu, and another that says Mom. They know!

We weren't to the point of letting them know, and AAI still had our gift bags in Port Angeles, but according to Terefu's letter Gail told them. Thank you Gail!!! It is so good to know that they know. They know they have a family - and in that instant so much of what they see as their identity changes. And in this case, they really know, because they know me already.

The letter to me went on to say "Habtamu, I know that you are my Dad. I am so happy. Thank you God for this. I tell Ashenafi and he jumps and jumps and says yes, yes!"

Since then AAI sent their gift bags over, and we have signed placement agreements and their paperwork has been sent to Ethiopia. So things are moving along, and we have a shot at beating the court closure although I am not holding my breath about that.

Thanks and blessings to the family who took the above picture.

Kid Pics

Just some pics of the kids over the past few months.





Song at Easter...




Mary and Jeremiah...

Pure Joy...

We call them the twins...

One of Daddy's girls...

Marta and friends...

Family at Kah-Nee-Tah

The boys and I...

King of the pool (and everything else!)

What a blessing they are

Our Kids

I didn't get to know Ashenafi very well while I was there, but the time I did spend with him was wonderful. Very sweet and quiet. He spent most of our time together on my lap. I wish I knew he was mine while I was there, but that is the way it goes.

But I did spend lots of time with Terefu, and I love her dearly. She is very devout Orthodox, and Marta says she REALLY prays. Such a good fit for our family.

Terefu's last letter told me that Ashenafi likes to play soccer and swimming (which for Ethiopian kids at Layla usually means they like to get in the water, but can't swim at all), and she likes gymnastics (she is really good), basketball and swimming.

The rest is yet to come, and we can't wait to see what passions are just waiting to be discovered. One of my favorite things about adopting older kids is the constancy of "ah-ha" moments when they discover something new that we just take for granted. It is fun to see their innocent delight in our everyday things, and I wish we could find such joy in the everyday too.

Bring them home soon Lord. Layla is a wonderful place, but they need their family.

He is my family...

Wow! First post since April 15th! So much to say the whole time, so much of it couldn't be shared, and I had no desire to write a word. Burned out all around from constant change...but, today I feel like jumping back in, so here goes.

As I said before I have been writing letters to many of the older children since I came home with Meklit. Every few weeks I write a bunch of letters, include self-addressed and stamped return envelopes, and send them with a traveling family. I usually write to about 5 or 6 kids, with the one common letter in each bundle being a letter to my daughter and son. The fruit of this effort is the return letters from many different kids. Days when they come in the mail are the highlight of my weeks. Today was one of those days.

Five letters from 5 different kids, and one of them from my daughter. The letter opens like this (the spelling is hers, and remember that they do not know about us yet - very soon, but not yet):

Hi Habtamu (this is the name she gave me while I was there in March, and I proudly answer to it),

Think for your letter. I am so fine. Ashenafi is good. I tell him Habtamu say "Hi" and he loves you. Ashenafi answer is "oh my dad say this!" I excited for he answer. I say you don't have a family. He say I have a family. I say who is you family? He say Habtamu love me so he is my family.

A bunch of other stuff...and,

Love, Terefu and Ashenafi

He knows...soon they will both officially know, but for now he just knows. A child who hears God speaking truth to his heart.

So, now the cat is out of the bag, and for those of you who don't know, Terefu and Ashenafi are ours. Our dossier is in, and our new home study is done and being sent to AAI. Soon we can sign placement documents and send our gift bags so they will know for sure.

Here they are on my first day at Layla in March. The picture on my previous post is of Ashenafi and I, and the one later on in this post is of Terefu and I. She is 13, and he is 5.

Believe it or not, I just jumped over to see my blog to make sure the picture of Ashenafi is there, and realized what my last post was about.

The post is titled Let Them Know Lord, and ends with this ...So God, here is my prayer. Tell our kids who we are. Give them dreams, and visions, and insights into who we are, and give us the same insight. Give them (and us) eyes to see and ears to hear, so that our first meetings with them are like long awaited reunions. Not times of butterflies and nervousness, of wondering and questioning if we are right for them or they are right for us. Lord, let them KNOW without a doubt, and give them peace because they know.

I really hadn't remembered, and here is this letter from Terefu with the answer to my prayer. Even when we don't remember, He does. He is the faithful one, and He listens, and He answers - even when we don't remember that we asked. Thanks God.

Let Them Know, Lord

I closed my last post with the comment about "my daughter, who doesn't know she is my daughter, or does she? Maybe God put me on her heart too? Who knows." And then I promptly picked up an old copy of Citizen magazine from Focus On Then Family, which we used to get but it never got read so we dropped our subscription.

To be honest I wanted a little bathroom reading material, so I flipped through the issue and settled on an article about a US Army officer from Wisconsin who was stationed in Iraq. To help deal with the reality of the daily carnage he and his men saw there, he and a group from his unit started spending time in an orphanage. The short version is that he fell in love with a little boy who had cerebral palsy, and he knew that the little boy wouldn't survive childhood if he stayed in Iraq, so he adopted the boy and brought him home.

Now I can't find the magazine to make sure I get all my facts straight, so bear with me. Life in a larger family means not being able to find things some times, so here we are. I think that the little boy told his new Grandma after he had been home a little while and had picked up some English, that he knew that her son was his dad from their first meeting. God had revealed it to him, and he knew that he was his son.

Now I know God speaks to us, and much of our family's story is based around this fact. I guess I just haven't ever really spent much time thinking about it from the other perspective of our children knowing who we are before we know about them. It is of course just as likely or even more so since children don't have all of the interference to hear that we have. And He does have a particular fondness for them, doesn't He.

So God, here is my prayer. Tell our kids who we are. Give them dreams, and visions, and insights into who we are, and give us the same insight. Give them (and us) eyes to see and ears to hear, so that our first meetings with them are like long awaited reunions. Not times of butterflies and nervousness, of wondering and questioning if we are right for them or they are right for us. Lord, let them KNOW without a doubt, and give them peace because they know.

Who's Next?

We got home Thursday night, and on Saturday we had a meeting with our social worker for Marta's 2nd post-placement visit, so Meklit got #1 out of the way too. And, we were able to get a new home study visit out of the way too! Very efficient - home 2 days and having a new home study being worked on - I like it.

Meklit was settling in very well, so the visit went great. She said she would talk to AAI to see what they said about starting another adoption now or later.

On Sunday I wrote a VERY long email to Merrily to spell out just how I thought we needed to have the 6 month wait rule between adoptions waived - surely she has never heard these arguments before;)

On Monday we heard back from AAI saying the we would have to wait the 6 months, and then could start the process again. I wasn't disappointed though, because this wasn't from Merrily, just AAI staff quoting the rules. Also I know that if they are our kids, then God has this all taken care of, so no worries.

Then on Wednesday I heard back from Merrily, and just as I had prayed, she said that we could skip the wait, and begin when we were ready. She must have forgotten that I had told her in Addis on the way to the airport that we were ready, so off we go again.

And now I am SO tempted to tell all about who our kids are, but feel like I should wait. What I can say is that Denise was right, and the older girl and her little brother she asked me about are the ones who stole my heart and we are paperchasing to bring home.

Since coming home I have sent about 15 letters, pictures and scotch tape (to hang things on their shelves), and Marta sent 18 letters too, with a couple people who were headed over to get their kids. I have written letters to many of the kids, and sent them all pictures of themselves with their friends - they all love their pictures. And to my delight, I have gotten 4 letters back from the kids at Layla. And while all of them make my day, the one I have read over, and over and over is of course from my daughter, who doesn't know she is my daughter, or does she? Maybe God put me on her heart too? Who knows.

Maybe I can ask her soon...

Goodbye, or Warning, Layla House Is A Dangerous Place

Oh boy.

When I went to Addis this time, I had an ulterior motive, an agenda beyond bringing home Meklit. As I was preparing to leave I had 2 questions posed to me. The first, from Julie Hehn, was "who is next?"

We had some interest in some of the older girls who are still there, and I went with the intent of getting to know them a little bit better, and to see if God would speak to me about whether or not any of these kids were ours. We know that God knows who our kids are, and always has. It is just a matter of listening to Him to find out who they are, then simply bringing them home. No pros and cons, no sweating finances or space in the house for more kids, just hear and do.

So...while Meklit and I were there we spent nearly all of our time, from before breakfast, through lunch and past dinner with the kids at Layla – mostly with the older girls, Marta's friends, to see if one of them was actually a sister.

As I have said countless times before, these kids are nothing short of amazing to me. They have lived difficult lives that we can't even get our heads around, and to come out on the other side with these sweet, loving, nurturing spirits blows my mind. It speaks to me of the mysterious grace of God's love.

The other question before I left came from Denise Baker, wondering if I had met a certain girl and her brother on my last visit. She thought that they would be a good fit for our family, but I couldn't remember meeting the kids, just vague pictures of the girl. So, they went on my list of kids to get to know better.

As I said before, we spent nearly all of our 3 days with the older girls. We had a great time with them, and with a couple of hours left before I knew we had to get back to the guest house to get packed, I was really starting to get choked up. When it came time for us to say good-bye, I started to say to the girls that we had to go now, and... I lost it. Total meltdown - a sobbing, snotting mess of tears. To make it worse, about 1/2 second into my meltdown they all lost it too, and we were all a mess. It just broke my heart to have to leave them behind, and to not take them all with me. They are all so wonderful, and they would be such great kids to have in our family.

Finally we all got it together so Meklit and I could leave. We went out towards the gate and found Ted with a bunch of kids and of course the skateboard. He asked me how I was doing and I lost it again. After a few minutes I explained to him that it broke my heart to leave the kids, and while I could hope and pray for them to get families, there were 2 kids that I couldn't hope or pray that for. I went asking for God to reveal our kids to me, and Lisa and Marta were at home praying for Him to open my heart to our next kids. Well, He does answer prayers, and I was heartbroken to have to leave 2 of our kids behind. It felt to me that I was leaving them there for someone else to adopt, and I just couldn't handle that thought.

Meklit and I got in one last round of hugs and kisses at the gate, promised to keep in touch, and went to the guest house so I could pack really quickly before Nate picked us up to go to the airport. I was a mess again at the guest house, and went through a bunch of tissue while packing. When I was done I figured we had a ½ hour to spare, so we called Nate to pick us up at Layla, and went back for that last few minutes of visiting.

I love being there in the mornings when things are just coming to life, and in the evening when the day is winding down. We joined the kids for their evening prayer time, which is led by the older kids. I love to see the older ones going to gather their younger siblings for prayer, and I got to sit there with Ashenafi on my lap.

Then it was really time to go, and it went much better this time around. Not surprising to me due to the providence of God, Merrily rode to the airport with us. She and I both live in Washington State, and the only 2 times I have ever seen or spoken to her have been in Addis. I asked her how long we would have to wait until we started the process again, and she told me there is a 6 month wait to begin the process again, and of course asked why. I told her I was leaving 2 of my kids behind, and that we needed to bring them home as quickly as possible. She said after she got back she would check into their status, and we would talk.

Needless to say, I now had something to occupy my time for the next 36 hours of travel, and I read Psalms and prayed most of the way home.

God has used times like this with me 4 times, all related to our children, when He reduced me to a messy puddle and in the process transformed my heart. The first time was when Jeff was born, then during the process of adopting Joy, again during the process with Marta, and now at Layla - each time using my broken state to radically change my heart. Really it is more of a new alignment of my heart, a tuning if you will. On the plane home these scriptures gave me peace.

Isaiah 25
9 In that day they will say,
"Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the LORD, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation."

Psalms 5
7 But I, by your great mercy,
will come into your house;
in reverence will I bow down
toward your holy temple.

It isn’t something I even pretend to fully understand, and I know it isn’t just about kids. What I do know is that it is about right alignment to the throne of God, and faith in the mystery of His sovereign ways.

Our flight home was uneventful, other than a minor glitch of Meklit being ticketed for Seattle and me for Portland, but a few $$$ and a little time in DC took care of that. She did incredible, ate (and still does) everything put before her, and slept a ton. The staff on Ethiopian Airlines helps you so much with things like the bathroom, and asking what they would like to drink, etc. With a language barrier and being shy, their help was much appreciated.

After our layover in DC, we flew to San Francisco, and then on to Portland. By leaving at ~11 pm from Addis after a long day, the trip is really long considering it is another 36 hours to get home.

I did fine until I saw Lisa, and then I felt the emotions surge through me again. Everyone was so excited to meet Meklit, and Marta was a welcome sight to her I am sure. Josiah held her hand as we walked down to find our luggage. I couldn’t even talk, and when we got down the baggage claim area Lisa asked me what had happened, and in an instant I lost it. What an amazing wife God has blessed me with. I told her through sobs that I had to leave 2 of our kids behind, and her only response was that we had better get to work on the paperwork to bring them home. She didn’t even know their names.