In a few days...

In a few days this is where I will be. This is a photo of the SW corner of Addis Ababa where the AAI guest house, Layla House, and Little and Big AHOPE are. Simply put, it is one of my favorite places on the planet.

In this area of that city there are few beautiful vistas or amenities that would earn a city in the US spots on any top 10 lists. By our standards it is a poor area of a poverty stricken city. But it is still one of my favorite places on the planet.

Right now it is up there because one of my 7 year old daughters lives there, but that will change in one week. It will still be high on my list after we are home because of the beautiful people that will still live there, not just at AHOPE and Layla, and because God has woven this place and those people into my spirit.

If you want to know where we will be, click on the picture to open it larger on your screen. Layla House is the push pin up in the upper right corner, and is the buildings with the blue roofs. Just to the left of it across the road and below the big section of trees is where the guest house is, and Little AHOPE is over on the left side of the picture (which is from Google Earth by the way).

On Google Earth I have tried for months to make out Meklit or Marta or any other kids I know, but of course this is just too much detail to hope for. But that never stopped me from stopping by to check it out anyway.

Exhale...

Finally able to breath out (as in I have been holding my breath for a long time now) we can happily say that Meklit's waiver is done, and we can now bring her home. There are no appointments or forms or fees or hoops to jump through, just come get her. So, I leave this Saturday the 10th, will have her on Monday, and we fly back out on Wed the 15th returning to Portland on the evening of the 16th. It makes it only a 3 day stay in Addis, which is about a year less than I would prefer, but with work and the ability to get on planes it was either now or the end of the month, so here we go again.

Now to the packing.

Our Sweet Girl

It has been nearly 2 months since we left Meklit, and I am thinking that in the next couple weeks we will get word that I can go and bring her home.

That is the very glass is half full side of me talking, but it sounds really good to me. We were thinking all along that it would be about 2 months, and have been praying it would be no more than that, so we are ready God - just have them give us a call...

Konjo

One way beautiful ferenge bride + one habesha daughter with mad braiding skills = one very konjo wife!

Undoubtedly the envy of this small town atleast.

I keep telling Marta that for a few $$ per head this could be her college money, but she doesn't seem to get it yet.

Are You Sure?

Our friends the Hehn's have a family line that goes something like "are you kidding me or just joking" that originated with one of their Ethiopian kids and an early struggle with some Americanisms in the English language. If you hang out with them you will hear it, but it is an inside joke.

When Marta first came and started to warm up to us and become playful, someone would say something to her and she would say "are you sure?" Like when a friend came over and they were looking through Jeff's yearbook. The friend pointed to the picture of herself and told Marta "that is me." Marta said, "are you sure?"

Now this has become the saying around here. Nothing like a well placed "are you sure" during dinner conversation to have everyone rolling.

Guess you had to be there...

Ciao Denise

It is a dark day for me, and I assume many of us AAI and Layla House parents. Denise is no longer in Ethiopia, but back in the US in Portland.

My daily obsession of checking for updates, hoping to hear a word about Marta or Meklit at first, and my not so obsessive looking for stories about the kids I know and love who are still there will now sadly come to an end. Maybe like a favorite book I will go back and reread it all one more time.

If you don't know what I am talking about, Denise Baker was a volunteer at Layla House since last June, and wrote a blog about her experiences. Go here to check out The Last Post. Her words were a lifeline for Lisa and I during our wait.

Thank you again Denise for loving our daughters and so many other children over that past 8 months. I know they love you as deeply as you love them, and we appreciate every moment of your efforts. There is always room for you in our home. Ciao...

Discomfort

Since I got back from Ethiopia I have been in a funk. Can't really explain it, or express my feelings and thoughts about it, because I don't really understand it all.

Much of it I write off to the burdens and stress of my life right now, which is just a temporarily abnormal amount. It will go away with time.

But one of the issues I know I have been stewing on (I am a crock pot kind of guy) is my reaction to Ethiopia, to Addis Ababa, to Layla and to AHOPE. I still can't put my finger on it and really talk about it, but today I read a post by a family who is adopting from Liberia, and who spent 5 weeks there. Even through my fog of understanding this jumps out as clear as day and shouts TRUTH.

So go to The Isaac's Liberian Journey and check out an honest assessment of what it is like to be an American in Liberia, or Ethiopia for that matter.

Even my trip, which I considered minimalistic - staying at the guest house, eating at local restaurants and Layla, and time spent with the kids just wasn't the real thing. I still felt calloused and hardened and utterly without compassion - so far from what I think it truly means to be a follower of Christ.

I specifically remember sitting in the seat of the van with Marta stopped for traffic as we drove through the city. That is when the beggars would come to the windows, and plead for something. I don't know what they were asking for in Amharic, food, or money I assume, but I do know that as I sat there with my daughter, I wanted more than anything for her to know that the heart of her father was good. I sat there with hundreds of US dollars in my pockets so we could eat, and shop, and take things we don't need home with us - so uncomfortable - wondering what her thoughts of the situation and of me were.

I went to Ethiopia, but I made sure to cushion myself and my daughter from reality there. I really do love the people, but I have no idea what their life is really like. I tease Marta all the time about relinquishing me some minor percentage of Habesha status. She relentlessly shakes her head and says no, I am 100% ferenge. She is right.

One Year Ago

Last year at this time my son Jeff, our friend Jan and I had just returned from China with Song.

We were there for 2 weeks, spending time in Nanjing, a visit to Suzhou (his city), and in Guangzhou.

Our last full day in Guangzhou was my birthday, and we ate dim sum to celebrate, played on the playground and drank our last hot ginger cokes.

The day before we received Song's US Visa, which was a happy day. (If you couldn't tell.)

The morning of the 27th we got up early for checkout and the customary red sofa pictures, and began our long journey home.

It was a long fever filled trip for Song, but the greeting of Mom and family made it all worth while. We had known about Song and first tried to begin the process of adopting him 27 months earlier, so Lisa's smile was well earned.

He has been home a year now, and has made such progress. When we met him his only English words were "hello" and "good morning" which we heard maybe a thousand times while there, and now he talks non-stop in English, with very little accent.

He is learning braille, rides a bike, swims, and so many other things. The new things and wonders of parenting are different with adopted kids, but no less joyful or amazing.

AHOPE

I have been trying to write about AHOPE for a week now, and I just can't seem to do it. This little bit will have to suffice for now.

If you go to Addis and don't visit these kids, it is a huge mistake. Not to take anything away from the other kids, but in a country where so many are orphaned by a disease that has left its mark on everyone, these kids were not only orphaned, but left to live a life with the constant reminder of what ravaged their families and home. They are the full story of what has happened in Ethiopia and most of Sub-Saharan Africa.

The biggest difference between Layla and AHOPE was the feeling of hope you feel at Layla, other than that they were all the same wonderful children, full of life, and eager for just a little attention, a kiss and a hug, a few moments in your lap or arms, and they are yours forever.

But there is a difference in the spirit of the place compared to Layla, and I have to think that it is the result of not having a steady flow of families passing through, of gift bags and t-shirts announcing to the world and their peers that they have been chosen, and regular going away parties. They just don't know these things well enough yet.

This lack of hopeful excitement is real and tangible, but will begin to change over time as more and more families are realizing that these beautiful kids need families too, and that the presence of HIV in their bodies is really not that big of a deal. And when you walk in and see the meds table full of Retrovir, you know that there is hope for these kids, they just don't understand it all yet.

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying that AHOPE isn't a good place, or isn't well run. The staff at AHOPE does a great job, and it is a wonderful place. They are doing their part, we just need to do ours. Layla is full of life in part because of families going there and adding hope and excitement, and even pizza to the mix. So here is the pitch. Sponsor some kids. Get other people to sponsor some more kids. Go see them if you travel to Ethiopia. And lastly, find out if one of your kids is currently living there, and then do something about it.

Meklit

The purpose of my first trip to Addis was to bring Marta home. The other purpose was to get to know Meklit so that my second trip to bring her home, alone, would be a success. Everything else I did and experienced was gravy.

Meklit. First thing was pronounciation. Meh-kleet, as in baseball cleat is how you say it. Early on we thought it was Mary, but it is obvious from Marta that she has never been called Mary, and they don't even know where it came from. So Meklit it is.

I don't think she was expecting me, and my first moments with her were right after school (she gets back at ~4pm) and she was just changing out of her school uniform. All I can say is overwhelming. This picture is from a different day, but the super shy, bashfull, doe eyed, I'm not going to speak to you look is all I got that day I think.

By Wednesday I think, and definitely by Thursday she was warmed up to me and would sit on my lap, let me cuddle and tickle and play games with her, and there were even a couple times when she came to me rather than Marta. I feel so much better about going back alone to bring her home.

I wasn't too sure what to expect personality wise. I had heard plenty of talk about princess, and pistol, and center of the universe, atleast in her eyes, and didn't really see any of that. Not that I don't think it is all true, I just didn't see it myself.

What I did see was an adorable, shy little girl, with a very sweet smile, who is probably trying to figure out what is going on. She doesn't have the experience of Marta, or the exposure to a steady flow of families coming to bring kids home, so I can understand what she is uncertain of. Soon though her perspective will change.

She did get to spend a couple nights at the guest house with us that we didn't expect, so that won't be new to her when it is her turn. The big change will be no Marta, and I don't know how much English she knows, and then the ordeal of the plane trip.

Above is Hanna getting her ready for school, and then saying goodbye to us on Friday morning when we took her back in the morning so she could get off to school. I didn't get a chance to talk to Hanna very much, but she is so good with the kids, and I know they all adore her. She takes Meklit and 2 others to public school each day as they are the oldest.

Life at the Guest House

I wanted to share our experience of staying at the guest house while in Addis, maybe with a little bit of opinion and recommendation along the way.

The official name is the Ritmo Guest House, but since I don't know what Ritmo has to do with it, it is just the AAI guest house to me. I love it there, and I think that the guest house is part of the reason we had such a great time in Addis.

We have been on 3 adoption trips - 2 to China and the latest to Ethiopia - and I will take the guest house over 5 Star Chinese hotels any day. It is more like an older vacation rental house, but with the purpose of the trip and the location of the house relative to Layla House, it couldn't be more perfect.

The house consists of about 6 bedrooms of various sizes, which share community bathrooms except the big room that has its own.

Marta and I stayed in the "Blue Room", which you can probably guess about the name.

There is a community family room with TV, VCR, couch, table & chairs, laptop and board games. Great place to hang out, play games and relax.

There is also a small kitchen that is perfect for staying a week or more there. The fridge is stocked with bottled water, soda, eggs and whatever people before you have left behind. There is fresh bread, fruit and all the spices you can imagine.

We all ate breakfast at the guest house each day, and had machiattos delivered from the Merry Fam. They are ~ $0.12 each, and to die for, so you can't go wrong.

There are 3 or 4 restaurants within 2 blocks or so of the guest house, so food is easy and very cheap to get, and there are enough options for the kids to keep them happy. One new one is about a 10 minute walk up hill from the guest house at the Adams Pavilion. It is on about the 3rd floor, and the balcony looks back towards the guest house. Great food for ~$4 or less served on the patio/balcony, with fancier fare and higher prices inside. The doro tibs are worth the walk. On the first floor of Adams is a coffee shop like Starbucks, and on the 3rd is an office supply store with decent internet access.

Layla house is just a 5 minute walk away, so very easy to get back to visit friends, hang out with the kids, go for parties and field trips, and other events too.

The best reason to stay at the guest house? The people. No doubt about it. While we were there there were 4 other families, some for the entire week, others for a day or two. The sense of community was so much fun, and the support and break from us parents was surely welcomed by the kids.

We made up a pretty strange guest house I would think, with boys 17, 15, 13 & 5, and girls 13, 4 & ~8 months.

The kids had a great time with each other, were very helpful with the younger ones, and we were all able to hang out together, in small groups, or go our separate ways as we pleased. There were always others wanting to go to Layla with you, or to eat, so you felt like you were all in it together, which I really enjoyed.

I couldn't imagine being there and staying somewhere else. The convenience coupled with the closeness to other families and their kids is so much better than crisp sheets and room service. With a baby you have others to help, and a stove and kitchen which have to make the whole bottle thing much easier. With younger kids who may be difficult to communicate with there is the chance of older kids being there to help in EVERY way - these older kids are amazing with the younger ones. And with older kids they are close to get back to Layla and visit, and are such a delight for everyone to be around.

I am so thankful for the families who were with us at the guest house. So thank you Andrew, Alicia, Sarah, Rebekah & brother, Sandra, Rick and all of your amazing children.

Now that I have said all of that, I may not stay at the guest house next time. I have been invited to stay at the girls aunt's house when I return to bring Meklit home in a month or two, and will have to consider that.

Denise-ee-ay

Denise Baker, as many AAI families know is the author of the blog called Destination Ethiopia. For many families like ours, her writing has been a nearly daily dose of comfort and hope as we waited, was my Addis and Layla House travel book as I prepared to go, and now that I am home her words are like a soothing balm to my achy breaky heart. (She might just cringe at a country song reference in a story about her.)

After months of reading her words, and occasional emails back and forth with her about Marta, Layla, supplies, etc., she was my first hug (of hundreds) while in Ethiopia. It seemed like we were old friends being reunited when I saw her right away when I walked into Layla for the first time, and a hug seemed appropriate. Marta was the 2nd by the way.

As one of the more difficult weeks of Denise' stay in Layla comes to a close, she is the perfect subject for a post. If you read her posts, you know "the Comic", and he and his 4 siblings are headed home today to their forever home in Ohio. I know she is overjoyed that they have a family, but it is hard to be apart from these kids.

Also, if you have read Denise's words, you know that she loves the children of Layla House, and they love her dearly in return. My thanks to her, which have been many but certainly not enough have been mostly for loving our kids. She has been there with them since June, and leaves late in January. There are many other volunteers who deserve the same thanks and praise, and God willing there will be many more to come.

So again Denise, thank you and God bless you for your sacrificially giving heart.

Sheraton Part 2

Before I get too far removed from my post about taking Group 5 to the Sheraton for swimming and lunch I wanted to post the rest of the pictures of the kids from our day.

Sometimes Blogger only lets you get a few loaded, so these are the rest of the Group 5 kids that I couldn't load back then.


These kids are also sweet, wonderful, etc.



Nobody could spend a week with these kids and not want to adopt an older child.

There are of course huge challenges when you mix the typical adoption trauma with the typical teen stuff.



But, beyond that stuff what emerges is these amazingly wonderful young people, who are such delight.

So my challenge to you is this - if you haven't already been, go to Addis and help out/hang out for a week, and spend some real time with Group 5 kids to see for yourself.



Just be ready to head back to bring home your new family member ~6 months later.

Layla, Staff and Volunteers

As I sit down to write this, and load these pictures, I realize the ache in my gut is because I miss it so much. I never dreamed this could happen.

I have always loved Chinese culture, but after bringing our 2 kids home from China, I can't really say that I miss it, or want to go back to any of the places. It isn't that I didn't enjoy my visits there, but they were just trips to places, and extended stays in very plush hotels. We will go back some day to take Joy and Song to visit, but that is different.

But, big but, my feelings towards Ethiopia, Addis Ababa, and Layla House in particular are very different. My feelings aren't really for the place, but for the people there, mostly the children. I absolutely fell head over heels in love with them all, and if I could go today I would.

So it isn't these buildings, or these staff people and volunteers who make me choke up, but it is the children they represent, the ones that live here and are cared for and loved by these people that make me respond to these pictures with such emotion. Everyone I saw and met - from the guards at the gate, to the gardener, to the cooks to the house mothers - were loving and wonderful to the kids.

This is one of the house mothers braiding Marta's hair in the midst of endless drying laundry on our last day in Addis.

Behind them is the cafeteria area where all the parties, dramas, singing, etc. take place.

Jamaal and Sarah at the guest house during our nightly hang out-share stories of the day. Sarah was with Alicia and her baby, and Jamaal picked us up at the airport, drove us to appointments, to the pool, and back to the airport to go home. He drives the kids everywhere, but does so much more for Layla, and the kids adore him.

And the bottom picture is of Nate, the infamous Denise and I at AHOPE. They did all the work so we could throw a pizza party for the AHOPE kids. After hours work for these guys is constant, but in the midst of the kids they make it all fun.

No discussion of Layla can happen without talking about them, and all of the other volunteers who go to love the kids. Fekerte was there while we were, but I didn't get a picture of her.

They all deserve such great praise and reward, but what could compare to the love of so many precious children.

Group 5 at the Sheraton

On Wednesday Rick, Sandra, Denise and I took Group 5 to the Sheraton for a day of swimming and lunch at the pool-side restaurant. We taught them some basic strokes, took them to the deep end one at a time and threw them in the air, taught them the correct way to splash each other, and played and played and played with an amazing bunch of kids - I don't know who had more fun, the kids or us adults. The kids were just like all kids, and begged to stay in the pool, or atleast to swim more after lunch, but there was a schedule to stick to.

After we swam we went to the poolside cafe, and had 5 tables full of kids, pizza, french fries, Coca and Fanta. The boys were out of food in minutes, and the girls mainly talked, giggled, and then ate a little, so the boys got their left-overs too.

I took my camera around each table and got a picture of each kids while the rest made them smile and giggle, and then all wanted to see each picture after it was taken. They love to see each other on the camera.



They are all sweet,



fun to be around,



kind and loving,




sometimes goofy,





and always wonderful kids.







I miss them so much, and can't wait to go back.